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March 12, 2002
The Gaping Maw Digest - Tuesday March 12 2002


A ROTTEN DOT COM Publicational Tuesday March 12 2002 - FREE
Information, Features, Editorials, Instruction Serving the Delicate Intellect

Welcome to Pedophile Park

When convicted child molesters, criminals, and institutionalized schizophrenics reach the end of their sentence, many get dumped back into the world at San Francisco's Civic Center. It's a triangular section of the downtown area near the main jail, directly across from the courthouse and City Hall. Smack dab in the center of all this humanity is a dilapidated children's playground with one straightforward request:

Literally Torn Out
From Today's Phone Book!


More Like Jizzlam!

CAIRO, Egypt -- Five Egyptian men were sentenced Monday to three years in prison with hard labor for engaging in gay sex.
The men had pleaded guilty to debauchery and running a house for gay sex parties. Islam prohibits homosexuality.

CLASSIFIED SUPPLEMENTAL

SELL FLOWERS! Stand in the hot sun with a bucket. Near freeway exit. Roses, daffodils, petunias. Must not be "allergic" to opportunity! x9364
ARTISTS IN DEMAND to imagineer large, looping circles of hot soapy water across kitchen floors, linoleum and behind the toilet. $7/hr, must own mop and good DMV. x1317

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Laughter: The Best Medicine
Today's Online Cybertoon


- Not Handicapped -
HandiRadical
Sioux City -- Transporting handicapped adults across the Midwest has always been a slow-moving process. Train stations in Iowa are tentatively exploring forward-thinking concepts in modern, unfettered accessibility. Let's watch and learn:

Science & Health

Tired of “getting it up” for wifey every gosh darn day of the week? MIT robot war graduates (in conjunction with NASA/AMES) are developing a suite of dildonic consumer products which might someday enable women to get themselves off - without the assistance of a man!
“The goal,” says teaching assistant Pho Bep, “would be to attach such a device to a Segway so our gals leave the house a little more.”

A N A G R A M S ! ! !
US = SWILLING CAREERS

SUING CARRIES WELL

LIARS SWIG LUCERNE


A SURGE IN ILL CREWS

ILL? WE'RE CURING ASS

USE, NAIL, SCREW GIRL

I, WARRING
CLUELESS

CRUEL SWINGER LISA

Spotlight: Booty

Click the above image for today's top strategies on getting laid.

Sound Off America!
Letters To The Gaping Maw

I saw a pig penis on the railroad tracks, and asked myself where is the rest of the pig
sowwy@hotmail.com
what is up with those two light towers in NYC?
ParasiticDemon@aol.com
I'm the mother of two eight year old boys, and I was shocked to read you0M9MzNd W1Y Full Yahoo! Coverage of the Olympic Games {{
AngelFeather200@aol.com

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THE PUZZLER

WORD SEARCH! Can you locate up to thirteen words formally established in the vernacular of today's young people? Up, down, forwards, backwards and diagonally. Time limit: five minutes.

Highlight the text below to see the solution to yesterday's Puzzler!

>> There are twelve cats living under the house

( Posted by Rotten Staff )

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