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  March 22, 2002
The Gaping Maw Digest - Friday March 22 2002

A ROTTEN DOT COM Publicational Friday March 22 2002 - FREE
Information, Features, Editorials, Instruction Serving the Delicate Intellect

Book Talk
SCB Registered Sex Offenders

What a potboiler! Region specific aggregated listings of convicted pedophiles and child molesters across the nation, organized from A to Z. Directory information includes where the offenders live, where they work, and how they're doing. Updated yearly and free. Click the image to enlarge.

t i t t i s

The happy couple
Babe-watchable blonde Pamela Anderson has contracted Hepatitis C, a potentially lethal blood and liver disease, after sharing a tattoo needle with estranged ex-husband Tommy Lee. "Tommy has the disease and never disclosed it to me during our marriage," Anderson announced.
There is no known vaccine for Hepatitis C. Symptoms of Hepatitis C include jaundice, fatigue, chronic nausea, and darkened urine. Thankfully, Anderson is now dating Kid Rock.

Mr. Potato Dead

BELPER, England -- The quiet, sleepytime calm of this countryside town was torn apart Monday, after schoolage hooligans scratched, defamed, and dismembered a seven-foot Mister Potato Head.
"It's more than a bit serious," says Reginald Bentworth, a tourism officer. "There's been quite a commotion and those responsible will see justice."
"Yo, take that."

  The giant toy had served as goodwill ambassador from Belper's sister city of Pawtucket, Rhode Island - headquarters of Hasbro, Inc. One of Mister Potato Head's arms was yanked off and his hat was broken. The giant toy was rushed to Ripley fiberglass specialists and repaired just in time for an appearance at the grand reopening of a Belper Safeway.

Kids Korner

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- An elementary school teacher and principal were suspended after third-grade students were made to drop their pants during an in-class search for $5 in missing lunch money, according to school district investigators.

A  male adult searched boys in a classroom, while girls searched other girls. Then a female adult searched the boys, and the girls felt up the male adult, and the boys being searched had sex with the girls searching the other girls, and the female adult had sex with the male adult, and they all had sex with each other and forgot about the missing lunch money.

Laughter: The Best Medicine
Today's Online Cybertoon

Siegfried & Roy's
Celebrity Sex Romp
LAS VEGAS (NV) -- Authorities unearthed six garbage bags Thursday containing candid and graphic Polaroid snapshots of drunken?, coked-up?, stumbling? pseudo-celebrities enjoying giggly “backstage antics” with disco magicians Siegfried and Roy. Among those busted:
  Entertainment lawyers descended on the scene in less than an hour after key photos were leaked to the press.
  “These should never have been released,” fumed one ICM talent agent who requested anonymity. “Look at these weird, horrible faces. Each one is just hypnotic and strange. And they're all with Siegfried and Roy.”
As late as Thursday midnight, two more garbage bags were discovered less than ten kilometers away. Implicated were vaguely journalistic personalities, religious icons and political leaders.
At present it is unclear which of these individuals engaged in three or four-way sexual congress with Siegfried and Roy.

Arthur “One Leg” Jackson

DALLAS -- A convicted killer whose left leg was amputated last year in prison got a 30-day reprieve Thursday, an hour before his scheduled lethal injection. Rodolfo Hernandez, 52, robbed and shot five Mexican immigrants in 1985. He has repeatedly insisted that since he strolled into prison with two legs, he should experience the afterlife in a likewise fashion. He accused prison officials of "stalling" on the replacement limb due to the expense.
   "He'll go to [Hell] in a wheelchair or on crutches," prison officials said.

Shooticide at a Glazance

The rate of suicide-by-gun among black male teens nearly quadrupled between 1979 and 1994.

Traditionally, blacks have had much lower suicide rates than whites, but the availability o f guns may help account for the narrowing of the gap among young men. There exists a greater expectation within the African-American community that younger African-Americans need to do more with the opportunities in front of them, researchers said.

Nixon Unplugged
Real Tapes From The White House

"You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists. Northern California has gotten so faggy I won't shake hands with anyone from San Francisco. I don't want to see this country to go that way. You know what happened to the Greeks. Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo, we all know that, so was Socrates. "

Concentration CATS!

Last May, 196 cats were pulled from Marilyn Barletta's home in Petaluma. Six dead cats, some cannibalized, were found amid mountains of excrement and concentrations of urine so powerful..

..that breathing air inside the house was considered dangerous. On Wednesday, the 62 year old was evicted again for harboring 40 cats in a 12-by-20-foot office space. The landlord, veterinarian Steven Egri, leased the office to Barletta two months ago. Tenants soon complained not only about the distracting smell, but also the constant howling and shrieking.

Sound Off America!
Letters To The Gaping Maw

more pix of girls with dix please this site is lame can i see more pix of dead guys??
i just wanted to write and say that the olive garden sucks.
i like to eat
i'm a slut [and] i just fucked my boyfriends older brother

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Highlight the text below to see the solution to yesterday's Puzzler!

> Women should be obscene and not heard <

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