|
Me
So Able To See Again
|
 Ah-so!
New Japanese scientist professor man first to clone many good time
frog eyeballs in secret laboratory. First to test, (A) Please
poke eyeball of tadpole until blind. (B) Then replace eyeball with
special value frog eyeball from Test Tube.
"If we keep going in this direction," say man Makoto Asashima,
"Possible for people who lose sad eyeballs to see happy again."
Success rate is seventy good hard working percents. |
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|
Teletugging
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| SANFORD,
Fla. -- A toddler died Tuesday after getting bonked on the head and
smooshed by a TV set that fell off a dresser he pulled over. |
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|
Sound
Off America!
Letters To The Gaping Maw
|
| I've
only got one [testicle] and I still got my girlfriend pregnant. |
|
pooxxx79@hotmail.com |
| I
THANK THAT YOU SHOULD MAKE THIS SIT MADE FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE 16AND
OLDER BECAUSE IT IS TO MUCH FOR EXLUSETED FOR YOUND KIDES. |
| momkixxxn@msn.com |
| I
crap four, maybe five times a day. |
| m-bxxxey@attbi.com |
| The
best feeling is shooting spoo all over my girl's face. |
| Name
Withheld By Request |
|
Click here to share YOUR
thoughts and feelings!
|
|
Laughter:
The Best Medicine
Today's Online Cybertoon
|
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|
Pussycat,
Pussycat
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| SAN
JOSE, CA - A beloved 12 year old Calico choked to death on a plastic
six-pack drink holder Tuesday, in plain view of the family Web cam. |
 |
| Images
of the strangled cat's head wedged against a stereo cabinet were broadcast
every two minutes for seven hours, until its owners returned from
the beach. |
|
True
Tales of COURAGE
|
 One
day Heather Kirkes was in gym class, playing dodge ball.
" I was behind this one really cute guy, waiting
for him to turn around so I could stare at his dick bulge."
When another girl saw Heather staring at the young man,
she threw the ball in his direction. He "dodged" out of
the way, and Heather got pegged hard in the face. |
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|
"The
ball knocked me right on my ass," Heather remembers.  "I
hit my head and blacked out for ten seconds. While unconscious,
I pissed my pants."
When the coach ran over to help, he slipped on her puddle
and broke his tailbone.
"For three years, the other kids called me Miss
Peebody."
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|
Almost
In Threes
Deaths
on March 27, 2002
|
 |
(1)
Milton Berle, 93. Died in sleep.
(2) Dudley Moore, 66. Pneumonia,
palsy.
(3) Lyle Lovett, 44. Trampled
by bull, right leg broken in several places, alive. |
|
Drive
Like A Man
You Dumb Whore
|
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|
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|
Dead
Man Floating
|
| LOS
ANGELES -- A 26 year old contestant participating in Dog Eat Dog,
a game show “currently in development” lost consciousness
Wednesday after being submerged underwater for an unknown length of
time. |
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| The
man was taken to the hospital and released. Visibly shaken studio
audience members returned home to suffocate beneath hours and hours
of game shows currently beyond development. |
|
Just
Stay Indoors And Never Leave
Punishments
For Talking Too Much
|
 MOULTON
- Police arrested a white motorist for shrieking Y'ALL NEED
TO GROW UP at Ku Klux Klansmen protesting a sixth-grade English
assignment. The homework: compile 30 pages of research on black people
for Black History Month. The
motorist was arrested on charges of inciting a riot and resisting
arrest. He was released on two bonds totaling $600. |
 Meanwhile,
at a town meeting in Pittsburgh, a 60 year old man who yammered on
and on for 11 extra minutes against the creation of a sewer authority
was charged with disruption and trespassing. Together, the charges
carry up to two years in jail and a $5,000 fine. |
|
THE
PUZZLER
|
|
Help,
I'm Dying of AIDS! This bull dyke "boi" never thought
it could happen to her, but now she desperately needs a clean blood
transfusion. Can you help direct the flow of blood from Point A
to Point B? If you can't, she'll die!
|
|
|
Highlight
the text below to see the solution to yesterday's Puzzler!
|
| >
Twelve angry men and a baby < |
|
