(c) 2001 Creators Syndicate |
Johnny Hart's
syndicated comic strips B.C. and The Wizard Of Id have afforded
him a combined audience in the hundreds of millions. The Washington Post,
the Los Angeles Times, and the Guinness Book of World Records
have independently crowned Mr. Hart the number one newspaper cartoonist
in the world. |
| Since the 1980s, Mr. Hart has used this massive platform to perform one
of the most insipid, unasked for services in the history of funny papers.
He offers readers serious, somber Christian messages on holidays like Christmas,
Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Over time, most editors have come to expect
this. A few continue to roll their eyes. |
Shown here is The Seven Last Words of Jesus, an attempt
by Hart this past April to incorporate both Jewish and Christian theologies
for Easter Sunday.
It is by anyone's standards a banal, family-oriented sequence of religious
iconography and uninspired fortune cookie sentiment. |
 |
| Hart explains the gag: “The true purpose of Christmas and Easter
is to honor a man. The same man, Jesus. They are not designated holidays
to honor red-suited Santas or egg-laden bunnies. Yet, whenever I try to
honor this man of men, for whom these days are set aside, hackles go up.
” |
 |
“I wanted everyone to see the cross
in the Menorah. It was a revelation to me, that tied God's chosen people
to their spiritual next of kin -- the disciples of the Risen Christ,”
squirts Hart, presumably out of his ass. |
|
Then, he points out there exists an endless
supply of cartoons featuring Santa Claus at Christmas and the Easter Bunny
at Easter - and those are received without objection.
|
 |
Without objection? More like without enthusiasm. Hart's wheezing
observations miss the point entirely. Comics are supposed to be funny.
Where are your jokes, Mr. Hart? Your motherfucking JOKES?
Who among us scans the comics page hoping for tablescraps of your biblical
insight? Who cares what you have to say about Easter? Or Christmas? Or Flag
Day?
How about a group of sassy, smirking, racially diverse college students
philosophizing about life and love in this crazy, mixed-up world? Where
have all the delightful, scampering animals gone? Where's that one dude
with the scraggly hair cantering about lopsidedly on a wacky stone-age unicycle?
At least give us one of your patented dictionary daffy-nitions! Something?
Anything? |
 |
Finally, the menorah burns down faster than a Christmas tree,
and the last panel depicts what can only be described as one of Christ's
heavier days.
Blood drips down the cross, traversing along a sloppy, drunken trail to
the tomb where Jesus was purported to have risen from the dead. Get it?? |
| Once again, readers of B.C. are forced to develop challenging punchline
devises all on their lonesome. Is that really the body of Christ
in that cave, or regulation leavened bread? Is it pizza dough designated
for the same ovens used in concentration camps? With a simple color change,
the concluding artwork might suggest a careless busboy in a cozy Italian
restaurant who's altogether abandoned his post, perhaps stumbling off to
urinate against a crucifix. Even if that were the case, Steve Martin's short
film The Absent-Minded Waiter tackled this material long ago, and
Hart cannot be lauded for plagiarizing slapstick readily available at Blockbuster
Video. |
Then, it just gets worse.
To organizations like the Jewish Defense League, reading this comic
strip was like discovering a soggy communion wafer floating in a cup of
matzoh ball soup.
They declared enough was enough. A full week before the Easter B.C.
was scheduled for release, the JDL obtained and reprinted without permission
the entire cartoon on its website, alongside an insignificant rant directed
at whomever might listen. |
| THUS
SPOKETH THE JDL |
|
"We
find nothing funny about Johnny Hart's text and artwork. In fact,
we find it highly crude, insulting and an example of outright Jew-hatred.
As the candles burn, the menorah (a sacred
and venerated symbol of the Jewish people) is obliterated and turns
into a cross (the symbol of Christianity)
Spread the word. Ask your friends and relatives
to ask their newspapers to pull Johnny Hart's B.C. from next Sunday's
newspaper. Please do it today!
Do it in memory of every Jew who has
died as a result of Christian persecution."
|
|
| It wasn't enough. After gloating that B.C. might also stand for
Being Crude, the JDL then fired off an equally retarded parody comic
strip in retaliation. Below, witness A.D. in all its limpwristed
glory. Click to enlarge. |
Those hilarious Jews and their lawyers and swastikas and anti-Christian
fare! Is it any wonder they're responsible for Hollywood's best comedy clubs?
The larger issue looming here is not the specifics of either cartoon, nor
organized attempts by special interest groups to censor material in international
newspapers, nor Jewish concerns, nor Christian theology.
The focal point of this controversy is that Christians and Jews should come
together in a spirit of forgiveness, in a forum miles and miles and miles
away from Garfield. It's something everyone can agree with. Only
a tubby tabby's outrageous cattitude is capable of crucifying the world
with genuine mirth. |
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( Posted by Rotten Staff )
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