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  May 21, 2001
The Wizard Of Stupid


(c) 2001 Creators Syndicate
Johnny Hart's syndicated comic strips B.C. and The Wizard Of Id have afforded him a combined audience in the hundreds of millions. The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, and the Guinness Book of World Records have independently crowned Mr. Hart the number one newspaper cartoonist in the world.
Since the 1980s, Mr. Hart has used this massive platform to perform one of the most insipid, unasked for services in the history of funny papers. He offers readers serious, somber Christian messages on holidays like Christmas, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Over time, most editors have come to expect this. A few continue to roll their eyes.
Shown here is The Seven Last Words of Jesus, an attempt by Hart this past April to incorporate both Jewish and Christian theologies for Easter Sunday.

It is by anyone's standards a banal, family-oriented sequence of religious iconography and uninspired fortune cookie sentiment.
Hart explains the gag: “The true purpose of Christmas and Easter is to honor a man. The same man, Jesus. They are not designated holidays to honor red-suited Santas or egg-laden bunnies. Yet, whenever I try to honor this man of men, for whom these days are set aside, hackles go up. ”
“I wanted everyone to see the cross in the Menorah. It was a revelation to me, that tied God's chosen people to their spiritual next of kin -- the disciples of the Risen Christ,” squirts Hart, presumably out of his ass.
Then, he points out there exists an endless supply of cartoons featuring Santa Claus at Christmas and the Easter Bunny at Easter - and those are received without objection.
Without objection? More like without enthusiasm. Hart's wheezing observations miss the point entirely. Comics are supposed to be funny. Where are your jokes, Mr. Hart? Your motherfucking JOKES? Who among us scans the comics page hoping for tablescraps of your biblical insight? Who cares what you have to say about Easter? Or Christmas? Or Flag Day?

How about a group of sassy, smirking, racially diverse college students philosophizing about life and love in this crazy, mixed-up world? Where have all the delightful, scampering animals gone? Where's that one dude with the scraggly hair cantering about lopsidedly on a wacky stone-age unicycle?

At least give us one of your patented dictionary daffy-nitions! Something? Anything?
Finally, the menorah burns down faster than a Christmas tree, and the last panel depicts what can only be described as one of Christ's heavier days.

Blood drips down the cross, traversing along a sloppy, drunken trail to the tomb where Jesus was purported to have risen from the dead. Get it??
Once again, readers of B.C. are forced to develop challenging punchline devises all on their lonesome. Is that really the body of Christ in that cave, or regulation leavened bread? Is it pizza dough designated for the same ovens used in concentration camps? With a simple color change, the concluding artwork might suggest a careless busboy in a cozy Italian restaurant who's altogether abandoned his post, perhaps stumbling off to urinate against a crucifix. Even if that were the case, Steve Martin's short film The Absent-Minded Waiter tackled this material long ago, and Hart cannot be lauded for plagiarizing slapstick readily available at Blockbuster Video.
Then, it just gets worse.

To organizations like the Jewish Defense League, reading this comic strip was like discovering a soggy communion wafer floating in a cup of matzoh ball soup.

They declared enough was enough. A full week before the Easter B.C. was scheduled for release, the JDL obtained and reprinted without permission the entire cartoon on its website, alongside an insignificant rant directed at whomever might listen.
THUS SPOKETH THE JDL
"We find nothing funny about Johnny Hart's text and artwork. In fact, we find it highly crude, insulting and an example of outright Jew-hatred.

As the candles burn, the menorah (a sacred and venerated symbol of the Jewish people) is obliterated and turns into a cross (the symbol of Christianity)

Spread the word. Ask your friends and relatives to ask their newspapers to pull Johnny Hart's B.C. from next Sunday's newspaper. Please do it today!

Do it in memory of every Jew who has died as a result of Christian persecution."
It wasn't enough. After gloating that B.C. might also stand for Being Crude, the JDL then fired off an equally retarded parody comic strip in retaliation. Below, witness A.D. in all its limpwristed glory. Click to enlarge.
Those hilarious Jews and their lawyers and swastikas and anti-Christian fare! Is it any wonder they're responsible for Hollywood's best comedy clubs?

The larger issue looming here is not the specifics of either cartoon, nor organized attempts by special interest groups to censor material in international newspapers, nor Jewish concerns, nor Christian theology.

The focal point of this controversy is that Christians and Jews should come together in a spirit of forgiveness, in a forum miles and miles and miles away from Garfield. It's something everyone can agree with. Only a tubby tabby's outrageous cattitude is capable of crucifying the world with genuine mirth.

( Posted by Rotten Staff )

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